


Foreign Exchange Club-Episode 3: Pedicab Driver or Kiku's Delivery Service

by egyptian



Category: None - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 20:03:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19893562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egyptian/pseuds/egyptian
Summary: Welcome masochists! Here is episode 3!





	Foreign Exchange Club-Episode 3: Pedicab Driver or Kiku's Delivery Service

[Lynn, Maya and Shizu are sitting in the classroom, with desks pushed together and eating lunch from bento boxes. Maya and Shizu look to be quite happy and content with the food they are eating. The camera slowly turns to Tracy, who not only isn't eating, but is staring down at the food with a great deal of trepidation.]

Maya: (suddenly noticing Lynn's trepidation) Is something the matter? I didn't mess it up did I? I know I don't cook very often..

[The chopsticks click clumsily in Lynn's hand. She's started to sweat a bit, her eyebrow twitching slightly]

Shizu: (to Maya) Maybe she doesn't like pickles. Lynn, if you don't like pickles you can just...

Lynn: (jumping up from her chair and shouting, face clearly showing her near-panic) I need REAL FOOOD!

[Everyone in the classroom turns and looks at Lynn. She looks a bit embarrassed, clears her throat and sits down.]

Lynn: Thank you for bringing lunch Maya

[Roll opener]

[Cut to the clubroom. Gin is sitting tilted back in her chair, clearly brainstorming. Ming is off to the side reading one of her fashion mags, Yayoi is listening to music on oversized headphones]

Gin: (eyeing Ming suspiciously) So where were you last Friday? I don't remember seeing you in the clubroom all week. We might have needed you, you know.

Ming: (looking up from magazine) Oh that. I had to pay back some money I owed to my parents, so I went and did an odd job.

Gin: Odd job?

[Cuts to Ming in a dark warehouse standing on a makeshift stage. She's wearing a ridiculous cosplay outfit, outlandish even by the standards of anime. She strikes an action pose]

Ming: I will punish all evil!

[Camera swings around to show what looks like a drifter wearing a loose robe. He's the only other person in the large and very scary looking building]

Drifter: Good. Now choke me with this belt.

[Cuts back to the club room. Ming casually turns a page in her magazine, her perfect poker face still intact]

Ming: You know, a temporary thing. 

[Kumiko, Junko and Kiku all file in. Junko has a moist-eyed dreamy expression on her face]

Kumiko: Well we went and got this week's challenge. Looks like..

Junko: (jumping in excitedly) Ramen stand! We get to run our own ramen stand!

Gin: What? What kind of challenge is that?

Yayoi: (taking off headphones) What? We're going to go get ramen?

Junko: No, we're going to be making it!

Gin: That doesn't make any sense. Junko, I command you to make more sense!

Kumiko: We have to run a ramen stand, with the proceeds going to the school's general fund. Sakai is running one of their own of course. Whoever makes the most money in one week's time is the winner.

Junko: All of my dreams are coming true! My own business!

Gin: Alright, slow down now. First, who's going to work at this thing? You know that the board of health has forbidden me from working in the food industry. Junko's obviously the best cook, so that's hers. What about waitresses? Some eye candy would definitely help bring in business.

Kumiko: We already thought of that, were a little grossed out by the idea and then decided it was better than losing. Nanae is outside putting the stand together with Shizu. Ming and Yayoi will work the front of the stand. Junko will do the cooking and Kiku will use her bike to do deliveries. Being able to deliver food should give us the advantage over Sakai.

Yayoi: Hey, has anyone seen Lynn or Maya? Why aren't they helping with this?

Gin: You didn't hear? The American girl had some kind of nervous breakdown. She and Maya are somewhere out in the city.

[Cuts to a restaurant that looks suspiciously like McDonalds. Maya is up at the counter ordering. Lynn is sitting in one of the booths looking a little shaky and dishevelled]

Maya: (bringing over a tray of food) Here you go. Real American food, made just how real Americans like it! This should get you back to normal.

Lynn: Normal...yes. Good normal food.

[Lynn unwraps a burger and takes a big bite greedily. She chews it slower and slower, then forces herself to swallow]

Lynn: It's...got shrimp..in it. Drink! I need a drink.

[Lynn grasps at a milkshake, slurping. She makes a terrible face and clutches at her throat]  
Lynn: Green tea?! I'm poisoned. Poisoned!

[Everyone in the restaurant turns and looks at Lynn and Maya nervously. Maya casually picks up the food tray and belts Lynn across the face, knocking her down]

Maya: Her Japanese isn't too good. She loves it!

[Cut back to the Foreign Exchange Club's ramen stand. Nanae and Shizu are finishing things up and Junko is getting the kitchen set up inside. Gin, Yayoi and Ming are standing out front]

Gin: Alright, now when we open we're going to have to really push to get people to stop and eat here. It's imperative that you put personal pride and shame aside. To that end I got you these sexy uniforms.

[Gin holds up a couple of uniforms that no self-respecting person would ever wear in public]

Yayoi: Not even if you put a gun to my head.

Ming: That's 9000 yen per day. More if you want me to use the belt.

Gin: What?

Ming: Nothing. If Yayoi isn't wearing it I'm not. In fact, no, I'm just not going to do it.

Gin: Oh no?

[Cut ahead. The Ramen stand is open and is doing fairly good business. Ming and Yayoi are working inside, wearing the horrible outfits]

Yayoi: How did she do that?

Ming:Right now my mind is filled with images. Gin's house consumed with flames. Gin, trying to get her window open and escape the blaze. But she can't get out Yayoi. She just can't get out.

Junko: (working feverishly behind them) Two more orders ready! Back to work you two! Hustle!

[The side door opens and Kiku pops her head in. She's wearing an old army jacket and holding a pedicab, an oversized trike with lots of room for cargo]

Junko: Ah! Kiku, good, you're back. There's two more orders to get out. Maps and adresses on the boxes. Call us if there's any problems.

Kiku: My legs are getting really tired. Isn't there anyone else who can take a turn?

Junko: I'm afraid not.

[Kiku dutifully loads the bike up, turns and starts to ride away from the stand]

Yayoi: Hands on your own side of the counter creep!

[Kiku rides further down the road, and a light rain starts to fall. As the weather gets worse Kiku's normally cheerful demeanor starts to get darker, more sinister.]

Kiku: It's raining. (pause) One day a real rain will fall and wash away all this filth.

[Kiku rides further, passing Maya and Shizu, who are carrying Lynn between them]

Lynn: Starving...need food.

Maya: It's okay. We're only a few blocks from the grocery store. We should be able to find something there.

Shizu: Is she going to make it?

Maya: I don't know Shizu. I don't know.

[As they continue to trudge through the dark the camera turns and follows Kiku as she rides off into the night. The camera cuts back to the stand. It is clearly much later and the girls are closing the shop for the night. Inside Yayoi is sprawled in a chair, while Ming is laying on the floor. Gin is carefully counting the money and Junko is happily cleaning everything up in back]

Yayoi: I've never worked so hard in my life.

Ming: I think I'm dying. Gin, if I die I swear I will come back to haunt you.

Junko: What a great day! It was a pretty good start but I'm sure that now that people know we're here we can do even better tomorrow.

Gin: Yeah, this is alright, but we need to do better. I heard that Sakai had a line two blocks long.

Junko: Really? How did they manage that?

Gin: I don't know, but if we're going to win either we have to do a lot better, or Sakai will have to do much worse.

Yayoi: Well it's not like we can make Sakai do worse.

Gin: Oh no?

[Cuts a day ahead. Gin is being pushed into the back of a police car. In the background we see a ramen stand that's clearly been damaged by a fire, with Sakai students standing all around.]

Gin: Police brutality! Wait until you hear from my atttorney! 

[Cut back to the Foreign Exchange Club's ramen stand. The girls are working and there's another modest crowd]

Yayoi: Two more orders!  
Ming: Wow, this place is really hopping. I hope we can keep up.

Junko: I'm more worried about Kiku.

Ming: Kiku? What, is she sick?

Junko:No, she just seems to be getting...weird.

[Cuts to Kiku delivering food to a Yakuza headquarters. She has one of the gangsters bent backwards over a desk while several other dangerous men look on.]

Kiku: Oh, don't have exact change eh? (breaks a bottle and threatens the guy)

[All of the yakuza men pull guns and point them at Kiku]

[Cut back to the ramen stand]

Yayoi: She's fine. Kiku isn't a child after all.

Ming: (yelling at a customer) Hands on your own side of the counter creep!

[Cuts to the exterior of a supermarket, then cut to inside. Lynn is pushing a shopping cart down one of the isles. She looks even more disheveled and deranged than before. Periodically she cackles and grabs a random item from a shelf, tossing it into the cart]

Shizu: Is it okay to get scared now?

Maya: It's fine. I'm sure she knows what she's doing.

Lynn: Yes precious. Tabasco! We need tabasco next!

Shizu: Alright, well I'm ready to panic as soon as you say it's okay.

[Cuts to next day, at the ramen stand. Nanae is the only customer, slurping away at some ramen. Junko looks a little worried]

Yayoi: (just coming in) Hey! No freebies!

Nanae: I paid for this!

Junko: Nanae, have you seen Kiku? She didn't call after her last delivery last night.

Nanae: No, I went to bed early. I didn't even notice because she usually leaves the house before I do.

Junko: I hope she didn't get into any trouble. She's not exactly..

Nanae: You can say it. Kiku is stupid.

Yayoi: Maybe we should go look for her.  
Gin's Voice: Hold it!

[Gin walks in and stops, hands on hips.]

Gin: Have you tried /calling/ her?

Nanae: Kiku broke her cellphone.

Ming: We definitely need to go look for her, no matter how long it might take.

Junko: You can't leave the stand! I need help!

Gin: You heard Junko. She needs at least two more peo..

[Gin and Nanae are behind the counter in the awful outfits. Ming and Yayoi are walking away]

Gin: Blast you! You can't do this!

Nanae: I'm a little confused at /how/ they did this.

Gin: This is inexcusable! 

Nanae: /You're/ complaining? I can't wear this and maintain my aura of power and quiet dignity!

Gin: I'll get you two! Mark my words! You'll pay for this affront!

Junko: Back to work you two!

[Cuts to Lynn's house, in the kitchen. She has a pot on every burner, something in the oven and a heap of dirty mixing bowls. She's working in one of the pans and cackling under her breath. Shizu and Maya are sitting at the table watching with some concern]

Shizu: Maya, I think I'd really like to start panicking.

Maya: She's cooking. What's the worst that could happen?

[Cut to Ming and Yayoi out shopping for clothes]

Yayoi: Why did you think Kiku would be here exactly?

Ming: Who?

Yayoi: Kiku!

Ming: I'm sure she's fine. (takes out a shirt and looks it over)

Yayoi: I really think we should get back to trying to find her. I mean I like getting away from the stand but you know if we don't get back there's going to be trouble.

Ming: Yayoi, we were /waitresses/. It's nothing that Gin and Nanae can't do just as well as you and I did.

[Cuts back to the stand. Gin is clearly arguing with a customer. Nanae is helping that Drifter from earlier]

Nanae: You want me to do /what/ with this?

Gin: I told you, I gave you your change!

Customer: You shorted me! You still owe me 1000 yen!

Junko: Faster you two! We're falling behind!

[Kumiko pokes her head in the side door. Camera closes to frame Kumiko and Junko only.]

Kumiko: I'm back. Any more delivery orders?

Junko: One is ready and I'm working on a second. Sorry to ask you to do this.

Kumiko: It's alright. Hopefully Kiku will show up and I can get back to my tutoring. (raises an eyebrow) What is Nanae doing?

Junko: No! 

[Cut to exterior of fairly nice house. Cut to front door where Kiku's mom is standing at the door talking to Yayoi and Ming. Ming is wearing the outfit she was looking at earlier.]

Mom: Oh yes, she's in her room. I don't think she was feeling very good. You're welcome to come in and visit her.

Yayoi: Thank you.

[Yayoi and Ming walk down the hall]

Ming: Kiku's mom sure is normal.

Yayoi: What do you mean?

Ming: Well, she's not like Kiku or Nanae. Being the opposite of those two is normal, right?

Yayoi: Don't ask me what normal is. 

Ming: Point taken. (knocks on Kiku's bedroom door) Kiku? Can we come in?

[there is a muffled response]

Yayoi: Was that a yes?

Ming: Close enough for me. (opens door)

[Inside the bedroom Kiku is standing in front of a full length mirror, just staring at herself. She's wearing the old army jacket and scowling at her own reflection.

Ming: Kiku, are you okay?

Kiku: Are you talking to me?

Ming: Uh..yes?

Kiku: I said, are you talking to me?

Ming: Ah...what? Kiku, you seem to be...are you feeling alright?

Kiku: (talking in a monotone) I'm feeling great. Working these long thankless hours has given me direction. I can see clearly. Constant work has burned out all the impurities. I'm clean inside.

[Yayoi and Ming are both wide-eyed]

Ming: So no, you're not feeling alright.

[Cuts to Lynn's house. She sets a massive platter of food down on the table. Red beans and rice, fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, collard greens, cornbread and green beans. Lynn looks triumphant]

Shizu: So much food...

Maya: All of this could feed my family for a week.

Lynn: Your family? That's just one plate.

[Lynn sets down similar platters in front of Shizu, then one for herself. Shizu trembles with fear, Maya's jaw drops]

Lynn: Dig in everybody!

[Cut back to the ramen stand. Junko is physically trying to separate Nanae and Gin, who are clearly trying to rip one another to pieces.]

Junko: Oh good, you're back!

Nanae: Did you find Kiku?

Yayoi: Sort of.

[Kiku rides up on the pedicab]

Ming: Oh god she followed us! Run for it!

Kiku: Why wouldn't I be here? I'm a delivery driver. This is what I do. This is what I am now.

[Kiku takes out a cigarette, lights it and takes a puff. She immediately falls off the bike and has a coughing fit, before finally curling up into a ball. While this is happening the principal walks up and looks everything over.]

Principal: I'd ask what was going on here but to be perfectly frank I don't want to know.

Junko: What are you doing here? Hungry?

Principal: Oh no. No no no no no no no no. I am just here to let you know that you've been disqualified from this week's contest.

Gin: Disqualified? What?

Principal: (takes out a piece of paper that looks very official) Let's see....cease and desist...crime....illegal...violation of health codes....ah! Nakamura Gin, forbidden to engage in any activities involving the food service industry for a period no less than 30 years. 

Gin:...

Junko: Oh no! We were doing so well!

Ming: You mean we did all of that for nothing?

Gin: I wouldn't have had to work if you two hadn't decided to take off and look for that bonehead Kiku!

Nanae: Don't you call Kiku a bonehead you bonehead!

[Lynn, Maya and Shizu show up. Maya and Shizu look a little under the weather]

Maya: So..full...

Shizu: I never want to eat again. Ever!

Lynn: (looking like her old self again) What's going on?

Junko: We lost again! 

Lynn: Again? 

Junko: I don't know what else we could have done. We used everyone to the best of their abilities!

[Cuts to the club room. Oki is looking around and looking confused]

Oki: Hello? Where is everybody? Did I miss the meeting again?

[Roll credits]


End file.
